career as spokeswoman for the AIDS Foundation. Engaging the patient, having empathy and being supportive is the first step in letting the patient matter to you.

Once the caregiver witnesses the experience of their patient through empathic relating the caregiver reflects on the feelings that are being evoked within themselves by this interaction. For example, caregivers working in nursing homes are usually dealing with patients that have ultimate concerns such as death, isolation and having no control. Caregivers confront these ultimate concerns within themselves everyday they go to work by seeing the conflict reflected in their patients. These conflicts exist at varying degrees of awareness. Some of these conflicts are unconscious and it is the defense posturing against these unconscious dynamics that influences functioning.

A caregiver in a nursing home will expend a great amount of energy defending against unresolved internal feelings regarding death. This heightened sens ibility to these ultimate conflicts, residing both within the patient and within the practitioner, deeply influences the nature of the relationship between the practitioner and patient. Unresolved feelings will make it difficult for that caregiver to be present with the patient. The practitioner may have a brusque manner in regard to of the patient. The quality of relationship affects the healing potential existing in the patient. This healing potential heightens when the patient is being heard and understood and when they know they are not facing things alone.

When the caregiver has an understanding of their own