Nothing to Fear
It’s not a common event to find yourself in the middle of the jungle in Copan, Honduras, sitting in front of the Mayan Storm God, Chahk, at Temple 11 for hours on end. Yet, here I was, sitting among the ruins and crumbling structures of the ancient Mayan city, intrigued by this figure of a man down on one knee, holding in his raised left hand what appeared to be a lantern.
It was the early ‘90s, and I was with a small group of people interested in Mayan mythology. We were studying the culture in a most unusual way, by "sensing" energetically to capture an understanding of the beliefs of these advanced people that had motivated them to build this metropolis of sacred sites. I must say that I had little faith in the techniques we were using to come into this understanding, when so many archaeologists were advancing in their studies through the application of more scientific methods. But I was having some really good
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meditations and learning how to allow an image to "do" me in this process our group leader had decided to employ. So while I wasn’t learning much in the way of Mayan culture from an intellectual understanding, I had at least found a means to quiet my mind and access many inner resources.
It has been my experience in working with ego and its relationship with vulnerability that the ego pushes for power and defense when confronted with powerlessness. This is valuable in earlier stages of ego-development, but as an adult we want to have a quiet mind and calmer emotions. A tool that I have used along with heart-centering meditation is to have a resource image that provides a container to allow one to explore his or her vulnerabilities more fully without going into defense. One may argue that the image is in and of itself also a defense structure. There is truth in this argument at deeper stages of ego development, but if you use the resource image to actually go into the fear, then the image is not being used as a defense structure. Would you go into battle with a man who is wielding a large sword without yourself having at least a shield? Probably not, but with a shield you may be more willing to engage the battle. A resource image provides the ego with the structure that it needs in order to relax into the fearful situation without bringing in defense, which prevents transformation from occurring at these deep levels. A defended ego does not transform, as it cannot be present in its vulnerability with the fearful structure, and this vulnerability with fear is a necessary element in the alchemy of consciousness change.
When I was sitting in front of Temple 11, I decided to work2
