Sacrifice and Grace
Dr. Brugh Joy begins by coalescing the forces that the "Sacrifice and Grace" conference at the Sundance Ranch is to explore. He does this so well, drawing upon his 30 years of experience conducting groups into opening to deeper levels of consciousness. He tells the group that the first initiation is white-water rafting down the Poudre River with level 4 and 5 rapids. "We are to experience what it means to live in the moment", he says, "because, if our attention is elsewhere the river will take us". I understood that I wasn’t in for a scenic float down the river and visions of me being swept down the mountain, over waterfalls and crashing into boulders along the way entered my mind. Nevertheless, I felt okay with this initiation because after all there will be a group of us in the raft along with an experience guide.
The second initiation is a sweat in an authentic sweat lodge and conducted by an Indian Shaman. I had never attended a sweat
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and knew nothing about them. Brugh prepares us by telling the group that the heat will be intense by the third round of stoking the fire. He offers the suggestion that if any of us have trouble gathering enough oxygen into our lungs then it may help to push our noses down into ground to find the slightest relief. Brugh feels it necessary to tell the group of the importance of completing an initiation process. If a person was to back down from an initiation whether from cowardice, physical or mental torment…. Well, one would never know the repercussions of such an action. Now, I feel the terror. Before I left for this conference knowing about the upcoming sweat, I exercised a practice round at a local sauna. I didn’t even come close to achieving 15 minutes before my mind demanded to escape. This sweat was going to be for 1 hour with more heat and in a crowded lodge. All I could think about was that I was weak when it came to physical discomfort. The thought of being looked at with pity by the other participants for quitting was also unbearable. I looked forward to the second initiation with much trepidation.
It has always been a part of my teachings that we are not alone as we engage life. There is assistance and support from a Divine power. My faith in this premise was being tested and I trembled in my vulnerability. If I was feeling so vulnerable what was that saying about my faith in a Divine power? The night before the sweat I set about preparing. I drew from my Voyager deck of metaphorical themes, the symbols of the universe and the sun. These were elements that I needed to include in my prayers to assist me in giving me what I needed for the initiation. In keeping with the theme of being in the moment, I
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