February 2011-Struggles with awakening
I have found in awareness and consciousness practices that once you recognize your projections and how many times you are projecting that several things come into play. One, is that you begin to judge yourself for being so “messed-up”, so manipulative and deceitful. You don’t want to fall into the rut of thinking, okay I will not allow myself to see my projections or own my personal responsibility in what I am co-creating so I can continue to think I am a good person. You can actually use this phase to motivate you in taking the time to meditate and reflect on your day. It just takes that moment of reflection to not be too hard on yourself and to find compassion that you are only human.
Second, you become so overwhelmed that you shut down with all the work that you see before you. It is to understand that many projections have at their core the same pattern and when you find compassion for one of those projections then it has the domino affect…the compassionate resonates through all.
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Third, you begin to appropriate the projection into the power of your intellect or ego. Once you see the awareness you tell yourself…”Oh, I feel much better now, I can have control over this and I do not have to do anymore work with it.” Not true. Being in the vulnerability and having the compassion is the much needed step here.
Fourth, realizing how vulnerable you have been all along and that the power you obtain through your projections was just an illusion of power. This frightens so many people to know that the way they understood their world to be was not the core true reality.
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